yo it’s cehryl, welcome to my ‘newsletter’-type thing. here are the things i could’ve just tweeted probably, but things you can get in your inbox if you like.
most days i don’t have much to say, or maybe it is a matter of not finding the correct words, some days i take photos, some days i write sketchy poems in my notes app and publish them on homesick at home, a publication created with my friend christy. some days i do nothing but word vomit into the infinite void. congratulations, you can now subscribe to this void.
without social media my music career would’ve been impossible. but social media’s created a distance between me and my music-making. a pressure to publicise constantly. to prove relevance? what i imagine is wanted of me feels forced, opposite to the way i’ve presented myself and my music from the beginning.
ideally, i’d just make art the same way i did from my boston apartment room in 2015: in spurts, tunnel vision, privately and reporting to no one, publicising only when the private process is complete. i’m still trying to figure out what i want in my life (lol). making music between full-time job hours is really hard. complaining is easy. admitting defeat is easier. was talking to my friend alex szotak about this recently, how the line between being realistic and settling/compromising your dreams becomes invisible as you grow older, and how devastating that is. i’d like to be free from the fear of not meeting the music industry standard of success. i’d like not to be destroyed or made unfaithful to my creative process by a thing like instagram.
so here i am, trying to find new egotistical ways to express myself. let’s see if this does anything for me, and if i’m lucky, for you too.
In the meantime, tell your friends!